Dear Mr. Vadhera,
Since the very day you tied knot into the royal family of India, I have admired the courage, yet have been concerned for about your shortsightedness in the decision of falling in love with Biancaji. I understand Mr. Vadhera, that love is blind and one does not get one’s beloved’s color of blood checked, but your enthusiasm in bringing Indian industry’s standard on top of the world was so much that you may have not noticed that Biancaji belonged to “the” royal family and had very blue blood. At times I wonder, you may have known this all along and your heart just over-powered on your logical part of of the brain.
Mr. Vadhera, you have been anything but an honest businessman contributing to the growth of the country. Your manufacturing and Real Estate businesses are growing above he clouds and the world has its eyes on you to be the next Ambani. But, I’ll tell you a secret today… These opposite party people are jealous of your progress and they are unfairly trying to taint your name with some dirty titles like “corrupt” and “extortionist” and many others I can’t recall at this time. In addition, I must tell you that the people of this country and this evil social media thing is not helping you. I may be alone in this battle, standing by your side, argue with my friends that you are the best possible human being in the world, but what can one voice do Mr. Vadhera? For what it’s worth, people of India didn’t listen to Kejribal ji, how can you expect them to listen to me.
In all honesty, the royal family has had a serious taste of power for almost half a century. Their addiction is going to be very hard to remove. With these recent election results, the family is wounded very bad, wounded like a tiger just managed to save his life and it will not settle for anything less than blood in the next election. This is where the unfortunate story for you begins.
Mr. Vadhera, the royal family has a long alleged history of getting their path clear for its one and only priority, to rule India. In my opinion, they mean no harm to their near and dear ones, but in the larger interest of the country, they don’t mind crucifying family members and loyal party members. To clear their path of course, nothing personal. And this strategy Mr. Vadhra is not something that is originated in the royal family. This strategy is embedded in our ancient scriptures of Ramayana and Mahabharata. In Ramayana, Lord & King Ram conveniently sent his wife to exile to avoid social unrest in the kingdom and this was the foundation of the very famous “Ram-Rajya”. Vibheeshan berayed his brother for the kingdom. In the Mahabharata, Pandava and Kauravas were cousins and fought a “world-war” over the kingdom. Kansa kept his sister in prison and killed 6 nephews to retain his kingdom. So, I have never blamed them for what your in-laws do. They just do what our scriptures teach them. They are all wonderful people and since they are your first relatives, i am personally very fond of them.
With this in light, Mr. Vadhera, the royal family has very few leaders left on a national level. Your brother-in-law, please pardon me for this, behaves like a moron in front of a mic or a camera. He’s a sweet boy, but could use some psychiatric treatment for the next 40 something years and never return to politics. Your Mother-in-law cannot be the Prime Minister due to some stupid clause in the constitution, which they should try and get changed whenever they come to power next. Your MIL’s being an Indian is important, her country of birth should have no bearing. Coming back to the point, a dummy PM will never be voted in after the failure of Mr. Silencer Singh in the last 10 years. This leaves your wife, Bianca as the next PM candidate as a Royal family strategy. For the love of country and its people, Bianca will change her hairstyle to match her granny’s (already checked) and start painting white patches, because the Indian people will believe that her granny’s spirit is still alive in Bianca. As a strategy, this will leave them with one hanging question – What to do about YOU!!!
Yes Mr. Vadhera, your fate due to your current image is strategically excellent for the royal family. To create a clean, positive, non-corrupt, progressive image for Biancaji to prepare for next election, their best bet will be to crucify you. Now don’t get me wrong as I don’t think you will be nailed to a cross or be killed. I’m just using “crucify” as a figure of speech, although I won’t rule that option out just yet. Your crucification will be the perfect strategy for the royal family. Now see Mr. Vadhera, people have short memories. After 5 years of Mr. Nodi’s rule, whatever he promised, not everything will be delivered. As we like to change our cars every 5 years, we like to change our politicians as well. So, the royal family will have some anti-incumbency in their pocket, here, they will use their trump card – Biancaji… they will prove to be a clean party by whistle-blowing on their Son-in-law, yes… you!!! and they will be able to free Biancaji from day to day domestic responsibility, in other words get the monkey off her back and let her work for the betterment of the country full time. They can easily maintain “plausible deniability” in all your alleged scams using their media partners. Here, I’d like to acknowledge the popular TV series “24” where I learn the phrase “plausible deniability”. In the show, Mr. Bauer likes to maintain this kind of deniability for all the US Presidents all the time, so I figured it must be a political thing and I used it in this letter to you. I keep digressing from the point, don’t I?
As a well-wisher of a philanthropist entrepreneur like yourself, I’ll suggest you to watch your back Mr. Vadhera. Start getting savvy with the media. Start getting your wife publicly involved in some of your unfairly alleged dark businesses. See, Mr. Vadhera, as long as they don’t have plausible deniability they will not taint your name. Your next step will need to be to upgrade your security, because if they are not able to taint you, they may get you vanish off the face of the earth. Biancaji’s story of a sorry widow asking for votes will be much better than a tortured wife by an evil husband. Now, you are no stranger to this scenario especially due to the mysterious deaths of your father and siblings. The best strategy to kill you will be a failed assassination attempt of Biancaji. As I said Mr. Vadhera, Indian people’s memory is short. As soon as you die, Biancaji will cry in front of cameras and ask for votes. You will be the hero of the story giving up your life for your wife’s, but a fallen hero. Your statue’s horse on Race Course Road will have both feet in the air and I will personally visit to pay you my respects. In your reply to this letter, do let me know which flowers you like so that I’ll bring the appropriate ones.
From your only well-wisher in the whole wide world
Note : This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to names or incidents is coincidental, except the Ramayana and the Mahabharata references :)